


A Hot Mess

by Creative_crybaby



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Baby Stark has no name, Bisexuality, Falling In Love, Getting Help, Loki is a good guy, M/M, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Out of the Closet Tony, Thor Is a Good Bro, Tony is a daddy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 04:36:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8564323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creative_crybaby/pseuds/Creative_crybaby
Summary: Tony's life is a complete mess. So, he hires a team to whip him into shape.  But falling for the Boss wasn't something he planned.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a long, but I decided against putting it into chapters. If this ends up being bothersome, please let me know and I can edit it.
> 
> I hope you like it. The plot is mine but the characters are borrowed. No harm meant.

 

"It's good that you contacted us. Anyone can see that you need help."

He is abrupt and insulating.

The man with long dark hair, dressed immaculately in a expensive Italian suit sits behind a large green and gold marble desk.  It’s ostentatious, but strangely fitting for the man.

"Couldn't sugar coat it, could you?"

Mr. Laufeyson stares at Tony.

"I have a feeling that too many people have already done enough of that for you, am I right? The reason that you are here is because it's gotten so bad that even you can't buy your way out if it."

Tony doesn't respond.

"Your life has always been a bit of a shambles, but something has happened recently that makes you want to change. What is it?"

Tony swallows.

"My ex is suing for complete custody of my daughter. She says that I'm unfit to help raise her."

The man leans back in his chair and steeples his fingers.

"My team will be there tomorrow at 8 a.m. sharp.  Stop off at my secretary's desk with any keys necessary to access your home so we can make a copy."

Tony nods and stands up.

"And Mr. Stark…?"

"Yes?"

"I can almost guarantee that you will end up hating me. But, if you do everything that my team and I say, I guarantee results."

Tony opens his mouth to speak, but can't find an appropriate response so he closes it and leaves the room.

It's less than ten minutes when Tony leaves the office building and heads home.  He's exhausted and barely undresses before he collapses in his bed.

 

* * *

  
The next morning comes too fast. Tony is dead to the world and doesn't hear anyone enter his house.

The room is gently rocking. No, it’s not the room; someone is rocking him.  He doesn’t respond.

 The shaking intensifies.

"Go away."

A British voice responds.

"Mr. Stark, it is eight o'clock and time to wake up."

"Five more minutes."

His answer is the sudden removal of his blankets.

"Hey!"

"Mr. Stark, we had an agreement.  We would start your "rehabilitation" this morning at eight a.m. sharp. Get up. Shower. Dress. Do it quickly.  You have twenty minutes to meet us in the living room. If you are late, believe me when I say that you won't like the consequences."

Exactly twenty minutes later, Tony stands in his living room freshly showered with damp hair. He wears a torn pair of sweatpants and a faded band shirt, not his best, but they are clean. He glances around to see half a dozen people have infiltrated his house. 

Mr. Laufeyson motions to a small redheaded woman dressed in all black. She is gorgeous but her body language states that she is all business.

"This is Nat, our accountant. She will need access all your financial records."

"Is that necessary?”

"Yes. We need to know all your vices. And nothing tells us more than how you spend your money."

"You could just ask me."

This makes the man smile.  It's attractive and slightly distracting.

"We find that most people aren't honest with us. Therefore, it is just better for us to do it this way. And Nat is very gifted with these types of things."

Nat approaches with a stack of forms.

"Mr. Stark, I need you to sign all these. I will pick them up tomorrow morning."

"Looks like I have homework."

She smiles.

"You have no idea."

Nat steps back and another man moves forward. He is also dressed in black, this time a suit, the only splash of color is a purple tie.

"This is Clint. From now on, he will pose as your newest bodyguard. In reality, he will be there to make sure that you follow the rules."

Tony is lead into the kitchen where a half-hidden person reaches inside his refrigerator.  The man steps back holding a container of leftovers and throws it into the trashcan that stands nearby.

"This is Bruce. He is your chef and nutritional specialist. You will ingest nothing unless he signs off on it. He has set up an appointment for a complete physical for you this afternoon."

Bruce nods at Tony and continues to clear out unhealthy food. Tony turns to see a big blonde beefcake dressed in gym shorts with muscles bulging out of a tight red t-shirt.

"This is Thor, your fitness expert.”

Thor smiles and reaches his hand out to Tony. The handshake is enthusiastic.  He seems friendly. Tony likes him until Thor places a hand on Mr. Laufeyson's shoulder. It's a casual action that neither man seems to register.  Something in Tony's gut twists.

Then he's ushered out again to meet someone else. A handsome man stands up from the couch.

"This is Steve. He will train you how not to act like an ass."

Steve actually blushes, either embarrassed by the praise or the language. Tony pegs him as a bit old fashioned.

Tired and a bit grumpy from an abrupt wake up, Tony turns to Mr. Laufeyson.

"And what is it that you will be doing Mr. Laufeyson?"

"I, Mr. Stark, will be fixing your fucked up life."

 

* * *

 

Tony eats a breakfast of mushroom omelets and herbal tea, the only things Bruce finds redeemable in his kitchen.  By the end of the day, the refrigerator and pantry will be loaded with healthy food and a meal plan will be posted that Tony will have to follow.

Tony sits in his office and starts on the stack of paperwork that Nat has left for him. Halfway through he's interrupted by a polite cough. 

Tony expects to see his new babysitter, Clint, in the doorway. Instead, he sees that it is Steve.

"May I come in?"

"Please."

Steve has a thick file under his arm. He sits across from Tony.

"I know that Mr. Laufeyson hinted at my role, but I would like to go over exactly what I do."

He opens the file, pulls out pictures, and spreads them out on the desk. Tony's heart sinks.

"This will most likely be unpleasant. We'll start with this one. Can you tell me about her?"

 

* * *

 

Tony hurts in places that he didn't know existed. He is sweating hard from the workout that Thor has designed especially to torture him. Twenty minutes in and Tony is about to give up.

"That's good.  You're doing well. Just two more sets."

Tony pushes through. He feels the irrational need to compete with Thor. It wouldn't be much of a competition, but it spurs him on nonetheless.

"Good. Now take a rest. We'll be focusing on cardio next. Here, drink this."

Tony gulps the bottle of water presented to him. 

"You know, Loki thinks that you won't make it through this first session.”

"Who's Loki?"

"Oh, Mr. Laufeyson.  Still feels weird to call him that. But he insists on it while we're working."

"So, you guys are close?"

"Yeah, pretty close."

“So, he thinks that I'll give up?"

"He's worked with lot of rich guys that come to him for help but who can't adjust to all the changes. It can be intense. "

"And you think that will happen to me?"

"Nah, I see the fire in your eyes. This means something to you. I think that you’re going to go the distance."

Thor’s words surprise Tony. He’s a little torn. Thor seems like a good person, but Tony can't help but hate him a little even if he's not being honest with himself regarding the reason.

 

* * *

 

Tony drinks the concoction that Bruce left for him to drink before bed. Said it was something that would help him recover from the first day.  He feels a bit like a pincushion after his doctor visit and he's exhausted from his workout.

A drink would do him good, but his bar is locked and Tony doesn't have the key. He drinks the sludge down and brushes his teeth. He's a bit rough and his gums bleed from the excessive pressure.  He’s angry.  He knows these changes would be hard, but he hadn't expected to feel so raw.

The session with Steve was the worst. Those pictures had showed him a part of himself that he didn't like. People he had hurt; old girlfriends, bitter business partners, disgruntled former employees, betrayed friends.

He had no answers for the questions that Steve had asked. Tony suspected that Steve had anticipated as much.

At least he was getting his money's worth.

****

True to her word, Nat is there when he wakes up to pick up the signed documents.  She seems pleased that he's done it without too much fuss.  He tries to make small talk, but she's not interested.

"I'll be in touch if I have any questions." With a curt nod, she's gone.

She ends up not contacting him. She doesn't need to. She's very good at her job.

 

* * *

 

The next day is Monday and he is still sore, but less so after Sunday's workout and another recovery concoction from Bruce.

Tony likes Bruce, mostly because he doesn't talk too much.

Thor talks way too much. Mostly about exercise that will benefit Tony, but sometimes he talks about Loki. Tony wonders if he notices that he keeps referring to his boss by his first name.

Work is very much the same but Tony does feel more focused and gets through more work in the morning than he normally does. He tries to ignore Clint who stands by the door most of the time.

Clint's phone beeps and he looks like he's reading a text.

"Bruce is here with your lunch."

Tony nods. A break sounds good; he is hungry. 

Bruce comes in with a large paper sack. He places it on the desk and waits for Tony to move paperwork around.

From the bag, he pulls out a delicious looking salad and a bottle of flavored sparkling water. 

"Looks great, Bruce."

Bruce preens.

"I hope you enjoy it. Oh, I won't be at your place for dinner tonight, Mr. Laufeyson has made reservations for dinner. Clint will drive you. He said that you should be ready by seven."

Tony’s hand is battered away when he starts to open the salad.

"Brucie, what do you think about your boss?

The man shrugs.

"He takes his job very serious.  I think he enjoys ordering people around. Likes to learn what makes people tick. But on a personal level, he's a very private person- doesn't fraternize with the underlings, as it were."

Tony frowns.

"Thanks again for the lunch, Bruce.  I'll see you tomorrow?"

 

* * *

 

The restaurant is expensive and Tony wonders if he’s paying for tonight’s meal. Any concern he feels evaporates when he sees Loki sitting at the table wearing an expensive but more casual outfit than before.

They are sitting are a private back booth. Clint sits at a nearby table enjoying the food.  Tony is having difficulty doing the same as he looks at the man sitting across from him. He is beautiful, pale skin that contrasts lovely with his ebony hair. It is shiny and Tony has the urge to touch it to see if it is as soft as it looks.

Loki looks intensely across the table. Tony finds he likes the attention.

"So, tell me how you think it's going so far? How are you handling the changes?"

"The food's surprisingly delicious."

He receives a nod in agreement.

"And the rest of the team?"

"I have had very little interaction with Nat, but she’s good at her job. Clint is quite and doesn’t bug me when I am working. And he keeps me on time for all my appointments. My Board of Director’s are very impressed with how serious I have started to take my responsibilities.  He’s also foiled a few amateur kidnapping attempts. Thor's workout regiment is intense, but I already feel stronger."

There is a look of pride on the other man's face at the mention of Thor. Tony frowns.  A shift in Loki's expression makes him unreadable.

"And what did you think about the session with Steve?"

Tony feels defensive.

"That must have been fun for you to dredge up all that dirt?  I imagine Made you feel powerful? Did you get off on reading the file, looking at the pictures, seeing my miserable excuse for a life? Guess that you’re kicking yourself for signing that nondisclosure agreement. You could have made a lot of money by going to the tabloids."

Loki looks at him blankly.

"Mr. Stark, I think you misunderstand my role. With regard to Steve's work, I don't actually see the information that he presents. I only read the reports that he provides.  I have no interest in knowing all the nitty-gritty. And I trust Steve to do this job because he takes the confidentiality clause of his job very seriously."

"I thought that only applied with regard to keeping your client's secrets from getting outside the company, not keeping things from each other."

"I trust each of my people implicitly. Each person does not share with the others what they learn in a session. And they only report to me what is necessary so that we may assist our clients."

Tony can't help but ask.

"You have a close relationship with all your employees?"

"We respect each other, but I don't spend time with them outside of business.”

"Even Thor?"

Loki looks surprised.

"You're jealous."

"I don't appreciate being lied to. It's your company, but it's not a good idea to get involved with an employee."

"And is it a good idea to get evolved with a client?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, I think you do Mr. Stark. Thor's an attractive man, but you're not his type."

"Wait, what? You think I like Thor. No way, I'm 100% straight.  Ask Steve how many pictures of my last relationships have been men. He'll tell you...not one.  I'm through being insulted. I think this dinner is over."

Tony stands up and Clint does as well.  He doesn't say anything, just raises an eyebrow at Tony as he storms out of the restaurants.

 

* * *

 

Tony hears a laugh that he, two laughs really. He turns the corner of the living room and sees Nat and Clint sitting very close together laughing. It seems intimate and something he afraid to interrupt, so he retreats to his bedroom. 

Staring up at the ceiling doesn't seem to provide him any answers to what's bugging him. He admits to himself that he's attracted to Loki. It should perhaps throw him a bit more; he's never been in this boat before.  Yes, he has always been able to see that some men are good looking.  It's just that this is the first time in his life that he's felt a pull toward another man. Maybe he wasn't 100% heterosexual.

He isn't sure what he should do. Looking back, he can see that he hasn't been exactly subtle; Clint and Nat must know. Loki is a professional psychiatrist. Why doesn’t he notice that Tony is attracted to him and not to Thor?

 

* * *

  
"Loki thinks that the root of your problems is that you don't know how to deal with the fact that you're homosexual."

Tony starts. Nat has hardly ever initiated a conversation. When she did, it was always about finances.

"Is that what you believe?"

"No. He's wrong about your sexuality. You're bisexual."

Tony takes a moment to let that sink in.

"And you think that's why I fucked up my life?"

"Possibly."

Tony leans back in his chair and turns toward the window.

"Have you told your boss?"

"No, I was thinking that you might want to tell him yourself."

The clicking of her shoes echo as she walks to the door. She pauses.

"Oh, and Tony? Thor and Loki are brothers.  Yeah, I know they don't look alike. Loki's adopted. He kept his biological father's last name. Thought you should know before you make too much of a fool out of yourself. "

 

* * *

 

Tony is more subdued the following morning.  He talks very little to Bruce as he eats breakfast.

Thor is as jolly as normal and Tony tries to be friendlier. The change is noticeable enough that Thor slaps him good-naturedly on the shoulder when their session is over. He feels like a heel when he realizes that Thor is a bit touchy feely with everyone, especially to those he bonded.

Today is another session with Steve. He doesn't bring any props this time and he seems pleased that Tony is waiting for him on the couch body relaxing, not defensive like the last time.

"So, I was thinking about last time. I think I get what you were trying to do."

Steve smiles and leans back.

"Go on."

Tony stares off.

"You were showing me the pictures to shock me into taking a good look at who I am. In that meeting, I was rude to you. I didn't want to see those people who I had hurt. I'm sorry for being disrespectful to you."

"Thank you for that. I know that it's hard for you to admit when you are wrong, Tony. You're not a bad person. You, like everyone that's ever been alive, have hang-ups. And that's okay.  But what are you going to do now?"

Tony turns to the other man

"I don't know…I was kinda hoping that you'd help me."

 

* * *

 

There's a knock at Tony's office door.

Tony turns to see Loki standing in the doorway.  Clint looks at both men and then heads out when Loki walks to the desk.

It's been a few weeks since they had that horrible dinner. Tony taps his pen on his desk.

"Hello, Mr. Laufeyson-"

"Please, call me Loki."

Tony almost smiles.

"Okay. But you still have to call me Mr. Stark."

Loki laughs and Tony finally allows himself a pleased grin.

"I think I owe you an apology."

Tony's eyebrow curves up.

Loki sits down across from Tony a mirrored echo from their first meeting.

"In our last meeting, I made some assumptions about you. Some of them, as Nat has made me aware of, were completely in error. I have seen your progress reports and you are doing exceptional. I thought you should know."

Tony doesn't respond. He opens his mouth but closes it again.  Loki stands and places a piece of paper. It has a time and address.

Loki continues, ”It's a neutral place. She insisted.  If it goes well, she's willing to consider dropping the court case. Clint will be there, but you will pretty much be on your own. I normally would say 'don't mess this up', but I don't think that's necessary.  Good luck, Mr. Stark."

It takes Tony the entire time that Loki walks to the door, to work out what that means before he responds.

"Thank you, and…it's Tony."

Loki turns and graces him with a beautiful smile before nodding and walking out of the room.

 

* * *

 

He watches as Pepper steps out of her car. They stare at each other for a second or two. She looks amazing and he flashes back to a time when both of them had been happy, together. It makes him smile a bit.

She must sense his melancholy, her eyes soften and her lip turns up slightly.  Then, she is opening the door to the backseat.  
A moment later, a little redheaded toddler is in Pepper's arms.

Tony waits, not sure what to do. He tries to memorize all the changes of his little girl. She seems taller, her hair longer with more curls.

They stop a few hundred yards from Tony.  
His heart beats faster. Did she change her mind? Is she going to turn and leave?

Instead, the mother places the girl gently on the ground. The child looks toward Tony and smiles. Then, she begins to wobble her way over. Tears fall freely as he sees his baby girl walk to him and his feet are moving. Just before she stumbles, he sweeps her up in a storm of kisses.  He looks up to see his ex-girlfriend’s eyes are misty.

"You look good, Tony."

"I think I've figured out some things."

His baby puts her head on Tony's shoulder and he sighs.

"Thank you for bring her, Pep, and for giving me another chance."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm doing this for her. She deserves to know her dad."

"She deserves everything."

Tony holds his daughter tighter.

"Baby, do you want to play on the swings?"

 

* * *

 

Assignment done, Clint shakes his hand and wishes him well. Tony is alone for the first time in weeks. The house sounds painfully quiet.  

“Maybe I should move to an apartment in town?” he asks the wall.

He likes the idea, surrounded by a thriving community, pulsing with life. Perhaps he’ll even learn the names of his neighbors, ask them for a cup of sugar and all that. Trick or Treating kids knocking on his door on Halloween.

A knock on the door.

For a moment, he panics trying to remember if he has any candy and then remembers that it is summer time. No, it’s not neighborhood children.  His heart races a bit when it occurs to him who is at his door.

"Come in."

Loki enters with a briefcase. His long hair pulled into a neat bun at the back of his head; he looks good and Tony should probably stop staring. He

"Well, Mr. Stark, it looks like our business is concluded. I would like to go over a few things, think of it has an exit interview. It helps us know what we did well and what needs to be improved."

Tony waves to the couch and takes the seat close by.

The next thirty minutes are spent reviewing each employee's performance. Tony has only positive comments for the team, referring to them as "miracle workers". Loki seems pleased at the input.

Loki places a few large envelopes on the table.

"Here are the copy of the forms relinquishing our company's privileges to your accounts and medical records. And here are the copies of the keys to your home."

Tony takes the keys and their fingers brush for a moment. It's as if little electric current passes between them.

"Are we done?"

Loki looks hurt for a moment but holds it quickly.

"Yes, that's all. I'll be getting out of your hair now."

Both men stand and Loki starts to turn to leave but Tony places his hand gently on his arm. He pauses and looks down at where they touch and then up at Tony's face confused.

"You were right about me. I was afraid to admit to myself that I found men attractive. I used women to prove to myself that I was a real man. But I hurt them. Now that I have a chance to be a dad to a little girl, I realize what makes a real man. It has nothing to do with who you want; it is about how you treat people. And you and your team gave me a gift, you showed me how to be a better person- a better father. Thank you. "

Loki smiled.

"I want to tell you that I like you, a lot. And this would normally be where I'd grab a woman and kiss her hard, but I want to try something different, less assault like. So, Loki if you wouldn't mind too much, I would really like to kiss you now."

But it is Loki that leans in for a sweet kiss. And Tony closes his eyes.

They lose themselves in the kiss, almost without thought they pull each other closer. It ends but both men  lean against each other with their foreheads together. 

"I thought you liked Thor."

"And I thought that you guys were dating."

"That's gross."

"Well, I didn't think you were brothers. I'm glad that Nat told me."

"How unprofessional of her."

They both smile still holding each other.

"So, are you free for dinner?"


End file.
